31st January 2008

Page by Page redirects in IIS for .asp, .html, .pdf, etc.

I’ve gone over adding a domain wide 301 redirects before in IIS to fix the www and non-www canonicalization issues, but the same issue also comes up for individual pages as well.

For an old page that is a .asp page adding the following code to the top of the page will perform the redirect. You can get rid of all other content on the page, as no browser or crawler will see it once they receive the 301 redirect.


<%@ Language=VBScript %>
<%
Response.Status="301 Moved Permanently"
Response.AddHeader "Location", " http://www.example.com/newpage.asp"
Response.End
%>

That only works for pages with extensions set up to parse the asp code. A lot of times, specially on shared hosting environments, other pages with static extensions such as .html, .pdf, .txt, etc will not execute the code. With a little trickery we can accomplish that as well.

Let’s say you have the old file that you want to 301 redirect, for example:

www.example.com/old_directory/oldpage.html

Which you’d like to redirect to the new location:

www.example.com/new_directory/newpage.html

If you were to add the above code to newpage.html nothing would happen, or even the code would show up as text on the page, as more than likely your server is not set up to execute the code. Here’s what you can do:

  1. Delete (or rename it to save it for a rollback) the oldpage.html file located in /old_directory/
  2. Create a new sub-folder (note: it’s a folder not a file) under /old_directory/ with the same name as the file you just deleted, in this example you’d create a sub-folder named ‘oldpage.html’ like /old_directory/oldpage.html/.
  3. In that folder you just created you will then create a default asp file to execute the redirect code, this can be different depending on how your site is set up, but generally it is default.asp, such as you now have a page located at /old_directory/oldpage.html/default.asp
  4. in that default.asp you will want to add the following code:


<%@ Language=VBScript %>
<%
Response.Status="301 Moved Permanently"
Response.AddHeader "Location", " http://www.example.com/new_directory/newpage.html"
Response.End
%>

That’s it you’re done. Now when someone or a crawler visits the old page, they will be 301 redirected to the new location. As stated before this also works for other static pages such as .PDF, .DOC, .TXT, .HTM , etc.

For example if you visit this page, which appears like it was a PDF:

www.hvac-direct.com/pdfs/oldfile.pdf

You should be automatically redirected to a new html file in a folder:

http://www.hvac-direct.com/html-version/

To see that is actually a 301 redirect view the response on the oyoy.eu tools. Note: that it’s a double redirect because of the lack of trailing slash on that server set-up, but it’s better than returning a 404!

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Webmastering | 5 Comments

31st January 2008

It’s Official (again) Google doesn’t use meta keywords

John Mueller of Google has officially stated to not worry about keywords meta tags:

Don’t bother with keyword meta tags. They are a relic and best left ignored. Why not spend your time writing more unique and compelling content for your users or improving the features on your site.

Let’s finally put this issue to bed and move on from here.

Thank you John.

For information on exactly what Meta Tags Google uses and how, here is a fine piece of documentation to read.

The one’s they list are:

<meta name="description" content="A description of the page" />
<title>The Title of the Page</title> **
<meta name="robots" content="..., ..." />
<meta name="googlebot" content="..., ..." />
<meta name="google" value="notranslate" />
<meta name="verify-v1" content="..." />
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="...; charset=..." />
<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="...;url=..." />

** Yes, I know it’s not a meta tag.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Google | 0 Comments

31st January 2008

Google domain is spamming Google

UPDATE 2/1/08:

The original subdomain is now gone from the results, but more have been created and they’ve yet to fix that hole. Barry Schwartz noticed the thread as well and added his own take.


I couldn’t resist drawing attention to this one found in Google Groups.The domain googlegroups.com which is indeed owned by Google has a ton of subdomain javascript redirecting spam placed on it.

Take a look at the 25,000 plus pages and the one specifically mentioned in the Groups thread. You must have javascript turned off to view the spammy pages and have it turned on to be redirected to the target of the spam.

Saved Screenshot

Not that this is the first time a Google domain has hosted spam, but this appears like a systematic hack rather than the work of millions of uncoordinated efforts.

I filled out a spam report in webmaster tools, we’ll see how long it hangs around. After cleaning up their site I suggest Larry and Sergey visit this page to learn how to file a reconsideration request.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Google | 0 Comments

25th January 2008

Google’s “Scalable” Solution

I’m no stranger to Google’s reconsideration request. I’ve helped dozens if not hundreds of people scour their sites, identify possible violations, implement changes, and compose the reconsideration request. I don’t do this as a professional cause but as an extension of my efforts in helping webmasters in Google’s Webmaster Help Group. Perhaps its because I choose the sites I want to work with and only cater to the ones that I believe are acting in ignorance rather than more devious intentions, but my success rate is quite high. There’s never been a case I couldn’t solve, then again this is probably due to my selective choices and not my mad Google skills. Either way, I know of what I speak.

Which brings me to an interesting situation that I was alerted of in twitter, saw in Sphinn, and then saw unfold on Dazzlin Donna’s take on SEO news, tips and theories SEO Scoop Blog. If you take the time to read Donna’s post you’ll see that she was caught up in the paid links dragnet and lost some of her visible PageRank. After a while she decided to demonetize her blog and set it up to comply with Google’s guidelines regarding paid links. She’s not Yahoo! so her time and opinion in choosing which sites to review are not worthy of being compensated for if they contain an active link (Google’s opinion, not mine).  After cleaning up the site she submitted a reconsideration request to Google.  Time passed and yet her PageRank penalty persisted.  Five weeks passed and she has finally found some resolution, though not through Google’s reconsideration request, but through the only solution that will actually work.

From my outsiders point of view and without any inside knowledge, the situation unfolded like this.

  1. Sometime in late December a reconsideration request was filed.
  2. Five weeks passed…
  3. Donna posts her plight to her blog
  4. A twitter is sent out.
  5. The post is Sphunn.
  6. 20 people sphunn it.
  7. The Sphinn goes hot 2 hours later.
  8. Matt Cutts comments on her blog, scolding her for her non-scalable method of approaching the situation, but offers to help.
  9. Matt offers to look into another commenter’s site.
  10. Matt says that her disclosure policy could be the problem.
  11. Donna changes her policy and responds that she did so.
  12. Matt emails the Google employee charged with reviewing Donna’s request.  Apparently there is another post that is still passing PageRank that was paid for.
  13. Donna fixes the post and comments that she did so.
  14. Matt points out another violation.
  15. Donna fixes that violation.
  16. Matt praises his team and says that they will get to it soon.

I would not have thought of how obtuse this whole process was had it not been for Matt saying, “In general you want to go with the reconsideration request approach rather than invoking me (that’s not scalable :)”  [my emphasis] Obviously this process is not scalable at all.  Here we have someone who’s worked on fixing her site, made some substantial changes, submitted a request for review, and apparently missed some things.  What she missed was exactly the same problem that she already admitted guilt to in the reconsideration request, but rather than offering any help Google files the request in the circular file and ignores the problem.

Since the majority of site owners don’t know Matt Cutts, know how to use social sites to get attention to their blog, don’t have blogs for that matter, and if they did probably wouldn’t get Matt to write six comments on their blog and send an email on their behalf, this is not a scalable solution.

A scalable solution would be the following:

  1. Site owner fixes site and submits a reconsideration request.
  2. Google reviews the site and finds some outstanding violations.
  3. Google sends a message back in the site owners  webmaster’s tools message center saying, “We have received and reviewed your request for consideration.  Unfortunately at this time we are unable to act on your request due to continued possible violations of our Webmaster Guidelines.  Please feel free to review the Webmaster’s Guidelines, make any changes that you find appropriate and resubmit your reconsideration request”
  4. Site owner digs deeper and sends in request.
  5. Google responds with another note, “We have received and reviewed your request for consideration.  It appears that your site is now within our guidelines.”

Notice that I didn’t even say that Google had to specifically say what violation they had.  I didn’t even specify whether or not a penalty has ever existed or has been lifted.  What I did do is “COMMUNICATE“.   Letting the site owner at least know that they are being heard.  Google’s response can be an automated one with only two possibilities. I’m sure their is a radio button somewhere on a computer somewhere that a Google employee is clicking when they review a reconsideration request.  It wouldn’t be too much to program one of two auto-responses depending on the status of that button.  That would be a scalable solution.

Their communication efforts in the help groups and their webmasters blog have been quite admirable lately, but there still is a disjoint between your average webmasters and those who know how to get to Matt Cutts, and that is just not right.  Not right at all.  I’ve heard many people say and write that one thing you should look for on an SEO’s resume is whether or not they know any search engine engineers, this situation just adds  that, and that is just not right.  Not right at all.

Having Matt Cutts be the voice of Google out there writing on his own blog,  commenting on people’s sites, and occasionally penning something on the official webmaster’s blog is great and wonderful for the community that watches that sort of thing.  I just believe that those people are a small subset of the actual webmaster population and the majority should not be at a disadvantage because they don’t subscribe to the right feeds.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Google, Matt Cutts, Paid Links, reconsideration request | 12 Comments

22nd January 2008

Getting help in GWHG

I’ve been touting the virtues of Google’s Webmaster Help Group for some time now, real people with real sites get valuable help daily. Google has put forth some guidelines for using the group but I thought I’d amend them with some of my personal opinions. If you want to get as much out of the help group as possible the following ideas gripes (in no particular order) will help you to help us help you.

Read the FAQ - google-webmaster-help-google-groups.pngGoogle likes to hide the FAQ and group charter by only linking to it ten times [yes 10!] on the home page so they are sometimes tough to notice, but it’s really helpful if you read the frequently asked questions as since they are frequently asked that means that frequently you will find your answer right there. I’ve highlighted the links in the thumbnail as they are pretty well hidden on the page.

Apparently 10 links isn’t always enough so here’s ELEVEN.

  1. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  2. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  3. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  4. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  5. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  6. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  7. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  8. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  9. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  10. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read
  11. Group info, FAQs, and posting tips - please read

Post Site Name - this is stated in the in the group charter:

Please include all relevant details in your post, including your site URL, any error messages you see, etc.
Also, make sure to use descriptive subject lines for your posts. All of this will enable other group members to help you more quickly and it will also enable us to troubleshoot issues internally.

I cannot emphasize this enough. This is a practical place where real sites are looked at if you’d like to practice theoretical webmastering or SEO then I’d head over to Webmaster World where you can talk about “totally-white-hat-hand-written-red-widgets-authority-sites” all day and night. The regulars in the webmaster help group have looked at thousands of sites and are aware of most trends in sites’ performance problems in Google. Most can be deciphered in a few minutes but others take a lot of digging, which requires the site be physically examined.

If you are worried about the site being found in the search results on Groups there are a couple things you can do. The easiest is to post the URL in your profile, those don’t get indexed. The 2nd method is to obfuscate it a bit by breaking the link (don’t use http:// or www before it). The regulars in the group are quite willing to work with you as well, so stating that you don’t want links to the site placed within the thread will usually keep everyone in line.

Be patient - The help group is manned mostly by volunteers. Paid employees of Google do lurk the group and occasionally post but not nearly as much as the volunteers. If you’ve come expecting an answer in 10 minutes, well, it’s not that kind of party. Bumping threads is frowned upon and most likely will get the post ignored more than moved up. Also remember that this is an international forum with people from all corners of the earth posting, so while it may be 2:00 pm in your neck of the woods the foremost expert on subject may be in bed. Giving it at least a 24 hour cycle.

Spare us the Tales of Woe - We’ve seen it all, lost homes, laying off employees, starving babies, turning off the heat, etc. Granted your site is important to you, just like our sites are important to us. Trying to rally the troops by telling a sob story about how Google has ruined your marriage is not going to win the hearts and minds of the people who have devoted thousands of hours working to support Googles search quality.

Be prepared to back it up with facts - “I’ve been penalized”  or I’ve got the “-30/-950/-50/+6/Duplicate Content Penalty” may fly in some forums but as I said earlier GWHG is a practical place, we need real life examples. Explain how you came to the conclusion, what evidence you have, and what trends you see. “I’ve lost all my rankings” doesn’t help anyone help you as we don’t know what you used to rank for.

Be specific - Asking, “How can I improve my site in Google” isn’t going to get much response, it’s not the free SEO forum, but rather the Google Webmaster Help Group. Ask specific questions with regards to Google and you are likely receive some very specific answers.

Don’t start multiple threads - The regulars will be quick to point out that you are asking the same question over and over, thus souring other regulars from even bothering with your question.

Engage in discussion - Please come back and let us all know if you headed the advice, if it worked, didn’t work, or you just ignored it. Asking follow up questions to the follow ups is likely to get you more information, and threads with larger numbers of responses definitely get more attention.

Include History - So much of what happens in Google is not what you did yesterday but what you did three months ago, so if you recently bought the domain and 301 redirected it 7 times, changed hosts,  got rid of the malware downloads in hidden links, and removed the 17,000 hidden words before asking for assistance it would be good to bring that up.

There isn’t a way to contact Google - Again covered in the FAQ that nobody reads, but this is the simple truth.  There is not an email address for you to discuss why your site doesn’t rank for your keyword.

More than likely we are all you are going to get - Ranting and raving and demanding a 100% accurate answer from Larry PageBlue G is likely not to get you anywhere and even less likely to get an answer from 2nd or 3rd in command like SusanBlue G or JohnMuBlue G.

Be Honest - Nothing makes people angry quite as much as finding out we were deceived.  If you own a few hundred spam sites all interlinked and pointing to the cash cow that just took a tumble in the rankings you may want to mention that this isn’t your first rodeo, as someone will likely figure that out and the response will be a lot more brutal than if you pointed it out in the beginning.

Look for the Magic Phrase - Find the Easter Egg in the FAQs, more likely to attract Googlers.

Be polite, respectful, and keep it clean - While the group is pretty good at brutal honesty, brutality is not tolerated at any level.  Google’s response is swift and decisive and the regulars will swoop in and quickly surround abusive posters.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in GWHG | 6 Comments

21st January 2008

How much is my blog worth?

I was reading Sebastian’s latest rant about a scraper and spammer named Veronica Domb so I followed his link to the scraper site. Other than it being a complete copy of one of Sebastian’s posts, I saw a little button saying that the scraper blog was worth $10,161.72!

Since I actually write the stuff on my blog and not just republish feeds I thought I’d see what this little button thinks of me.

 


My blog is worth $38,388.72.
How much is your blog worth?

 

 

What load of crap!

Besides being totally inaccurate, it does auto-magically create a bunch of links to the button author, which I don’t appreciate. Those links would explain why his site is worth $6,220,101.72 (in its flawed opinion). The only thing consistent with that calculation is that all the values end in 0.72. So if anyone would like to buy me a beer for $38,388.72 I’ll transfer the domain, export the databases, zip the server contents, and email it all to you in about 30 seconds. We’ll be having steak that night.

Oh yeah, did I mention Veronica Domb yet?

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in SEO | 2 Comments

15th January 2008

DoFollow Plugin

I need help from you programming geniuses out there. I’d love to use the New DoFollow Plugin but it doesn’t work in the latest version of wordpress. In the comments section the nofollow/follow link does not appear. Anyone have any luck getting it to work?

I’m not linking to them until they answer emails or comments….ironic isn’t it?

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Webmastering | 0 Comments

11th January 2008

Frequently Asked Questions

The Googlers were kind enough to give us some Frequently Asked Questions documentation in the Google Webmaster Help Group. Unfortunately you could not also call them the Frequently Read Questions as every new poster seems to miss the 7 or so links pointing to them when they write their first question. Annoying in the least and distracting from the real conversation that is trying to take place. We can all respond with the canned, “Read the FAQ”, response but even then people tend to not see the right stuff.

Using Google Notebook I’ve compiled a list of the FAQs with the question, answer, and the link. If you use the Google Notebook Firefox Extension all of the notes are sitting right down in the right side of your browser ready to cut-n-paste. [If only they could work drag-n-drop in! hint. hint.]

The contents of the notes are viewable here. However to receive the true value of the system I will need to add you as a collaborator so that you can have the notes available in your own Google Notebook application. Leave a comment here with your gmail address as the email address or send me a note in my contact form and I’ll add you. Once added you can add notes of your own so the whole community can benefit.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in GWHG | 1 Comment

10th January 2008

Follow me on Twitter

Follow me on twitter and I’ll give you hours and hours of free enjoyment with my decidedly witty comments. Follow Andy Beal and you may win some internet Nokia thingy. I already follow him so I guess I don’t get to win it.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Site News | 1 Comment

10th January 2008

RSS Footer

This is just a test post of the new RSS Footer plug-in by Joost de Valk which in his words:

This very simple plugin let’s you add an extra line of content to articles in your feed, defaulting to “Post from: ” and then a link back to your blog, with your blog’s name as it’s anchor text, which you can edit…

I only made a minor tweak.

Changing line 18 from:

add_options_page('RSS Footer Configuration', 'RSS Footer', 1, basename(__FILE__), array('RSSFooter_Admin','config_page'));

to:

add_options_page('RSS Footer Configuration', 'RSS Footer', 10, basename(__FILE__), array('RSSFooter_Admin','config_page'));

Hides the options from everyone but the site Administrator so that subscribers can’t get in and mess with your feeds!

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Site News | 1 Comment

10th January 2008

I like refrigerators

Earlier in the week I took a spin at an old classic, “Bill Evans, the boy with no body” to enter a contest where Dan Perry is giving away a Google Refrigerator. My attempt wasn’t too original as all I did was remake a classic email from years gone by. That being said, I had another one in the hopper and which also not to original, but if you’ve been around the web for a while you’ll remember it. It’s based on the classic, I like Monkeys, which till this day is still probably the funniest things I’ve ever read. I don’t know why it strikes me so damn funny but it does.

Without further ado, here’s my plea for a new refrigerator because I Like Refrigerators.


Google Refrigerator
Dan Perry was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like refrigerators.

I took my 200 refrigerators home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the refrigerators were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead. Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap refrigerators.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead refrigerators lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet refrigerator and 199 dead, dry refrigerators.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead refrigerator in the toilet and I didn’t want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two refrigerators at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet refrigerator in my toilet, two dead, frozen refrigerators in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred refrigerators in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn’t improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my refrigerators and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my refrigerators. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn’t allowed to dispose of charred appliances. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like refrigerators

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in humor | 1 Comment

9th January 2008

WARNING: Do not check domains at Network Solutions

Based on a post I read by Graywolf titled Hey Network Solutions Sniffing Domain Searches By Chance I thought I’d check it out myself.

So I headed over to Network Solutions and entered “jlhstesttoseeifyouregister.com” [JLH's test to see if you register]. Waited about 2 minutes.

Then I visited the name in my browser, to see a parked page. Checking the whois data, you can see that it was indeed registered by Network Solutions. Heck even Aboutus.org has a page up already proudly serving Adsense, so their is a Google slant to this.

So bottom line is that if you are using Network Solutions to check for available domains, if you don’t buy it instantly they’ll double the price of the domain and sell it to you later at $19.95. Why anyone would pay $9.95 or more for a new domain is way beyond me as there are always plenty of cheaper options willing to pay Google Adwords for a click .

Now, I must wonder if Network Solutions has to at least pay the icann registration fee on these. If so, why wouldn’t somebody set up a script to check millions of goblety-gook domain names at Network Solutions? I’m just saying…

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in Webmastering | 5 Comments

8th January 2008

Yet another Googler joins The Group

Today we were graced with another Googler joining in and contributing to the webmaster help group. I’ve updated my mostly accurate page listing all of the Google Employees posting on GWHG. Since it’s inception literally a dozen or so people have looked at it (t.i.c).

From Mariya’s initial post we learn:

yet another Googler from the Search Quality Team happy to join the discussion on webmastering here. My own web experience goes back to the late 90s when frames and animated gifs were all the rage and I cut my teeth making fan sites for my favourite bands on GeoCities. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to work on a number of more serious and complex projects for large corporate sites.

I am originally from Bulgaria - a land famous for roses, yoghurt, football (misnamed stateside as soccer (-: ), and recently, sumo wrestlers. Outside of Google, I enjoy sports, such as Wikipedia surfing and football watching, and on the more active side, mountain hiking and volleyball. I have a linguistics background, and grammar books are right at the top of my reading list with novels and blogs. I love learning new languages and I speak a few, so you may see me chatting with webmasters in the German or Russian groups, for instance.

I am really excited to be part of the group and look forward to learning a lot and hopefully adding to the helpful voices in an already lively discussion.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in GWHG | 0 Comments

7th January 2008

The man with no refrigerator

-inspired by Billy, the boy with no body.

My name is John Honeck.

I am a very sober little man. My mother is typing this for me, because I can’t. She Is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I’m so sober. I live without a Google refrigerator. It doesn’t hurt, except when I try to drink warm beer.

I have an artificial refrigerator. It is bucket filled with lukewarm water. Its the best I could do on account of me having no money or large AdWords accounts.

I would like to have a real Google refrigerator, but I need more links to this web site, or this one, or is it this one? The soberness has made my head clear and I cannot even think straight. I can barely work because nobody designs websites while sober. I just looked down at my lukewarm bucket of water. I am sad again.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you leave a comment or link to those websites, then write an email to everyone you know telling them to do the same. Forward it to people you don’t know, the too. Mr. Schwartz said that for every person you forward this email to, Larry Page will team up with Microsoft and send a referral to Dan Perry. With those referrals, Dan Perry will collect links from bloggers all over America.

Every time you forward this letter, Dan Perry can get more links and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. I am so sad and and I want a Google refrigerator. I don’t want my beer to get warm before the super bowl.

If you don’t forward this email, that’s okay. It just means you’re a mean and heartless bastard who doesn’t care about a poor little man with only a lukewarm bucket for a refrigerator. If you don’t it will stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, hoping you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. All of your links will be nofollowed.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can’t take five freakin’ minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about Ignoring a poor, sober thirty-nine-year-old man? Please help me.

I try to be happy, but it’s hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could drink with a kitty. I wish I could drink with kitty that wouldn’t chew on me and try to pee in my lukewarm beer bucket. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

John “Shakes” Honeck


If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in humor | 7 Comments

28th December 2007

The Google Webmaster Help(ing) Googlers

Today I’ve been inundated with “Best of 2007” SEO, SEM, and Search blogs and sites lists. Amazingly the only mention Google got was for their Webmaster Central Blog, a quality one at that, but there is so much more information out there that Google offers us lowly webmasters. One of the best kept secrets in the webmastering and SEO community is the Google Webmaster Help Group which is part of Google’s thriving and growing Google Webmaster Center. Unlike some much lesser but more popular forums site specific help is available and almost required to get the most information. The discussion on the group is not a matter of theoretical discussion but actual practical application. Almost daily (sometimes more, sometimes less) you will see input from actual Google employees and not mere speculation on all aspects of webmasters’ concerns and Google. Google employees can be easily spotted in the discussion by the little blue Blue G by their name.

With that being said, most people don’t have enough time to religiously follow the discussion group for the most important nuggets of knowledge and I could not find a central location that catalogued their contributions. The following is a list of the Googlers that regularly post on the help group, a link to their profile so you can find their latest posts. I’m sorry if I missed anyone, If I did please let me know.

If you liked this post please buy me a beer. Thanks.

posted in GWHG, Google | 11 Comments

  • Please Support

  • Marquette University

  • Sponsored